The Game Changer
I have Googled and researched the surgeon I was referred to like crazy and now today I can’t wait to have a conversation with him. I already know what I’d like to ask him. I want to know how often he does this sort of surgery, how comfortable he is with my case, how my fertility will be impacted by the surgery, how to prepare, what will take place during surgery and recovery. I’ll also be observing for my general impression and gut feeling.
Our appointment is at 2 pm but I may receive a call 30 minutes before or after. I wait about an hour. Then 2:30 pm comes and goes. It’s now 3:30 pm. Maybe he’s a little behind? Then 4:30 and 5:30pm come and go. Umm I think the office is now closed. Has he forgotten about me? “Oh well”, I think. I’ll just give the office a call tomorrow and let them know my doctor never called. Cool, moving on.
Some hours pass and I’m in the middle of our weekly Sistahs with Sense planning meeting. It’s 8:30 pm when my phone rings and I realize it’s the doctor’s office calling. I answer and ask a confused, “hello?” It’s the doctor himself calling me 6 hours later. He apologizes for calling so late but goes on to explain that he knew I was going to take more than the 10 minutes they were going to give them. So he called me after hours. This is impressive. Right off the bat he makes me feel comfortable by joking along the way and demonstrating his knowledge of endometriosis all while making me feel that I’m the expert of my body.
He asks me how I found him and I tell him I was looking for an endometriosis specialist. He says, “I see why they sent you to me. You’re a train wreck!” He goes on to tell me how complicated I am and that he is now wishing he did not call me. I laugh because I find it funny but I’m also in a bit of shock. Then I wonder if he’s insulting me or if it’s his playful nature I’m picking up. I don’t know this man so I’m super observant
But you know what, I like him. He is clearly knowledgeable and as our conversation goes on I see he’s a jokester who tells it like it is. I like it. He also is comprehensive, asking about my symptoms from head to toe (and I’ve got a lot of them). Not only does he ask about my symptoms, but he also wants to gather more information such as the frequency, severity, and any other descriptors I can provide. He does this for every. Single. Symptom.
We move on to talking about my fertility goals. I tell him I’d like to get pregnant and have a family one-day. He begins to prod to find out exactly how soon “one day” is. When I tell him maybe 3-5 years he says, “Oh no! That’s the wrong answer Alexis.” He continues, “are you married, engaged, hooking up? Isn’t there someone cute at work? You’re a dietitian!” He then advises me I need to have a baby soon because he’s not sure how much time I have to get pregnant. I’m sitting on the phone like okayyyy not sure how I can make this happen. So he says he’ll make a deal with me. He tells me it will all depend on what he finds when he “opens me up”, as he likes to say. He says, if its like concrete in there he’s going to tell me to get pregnant real quick. If things seem to be okay and there’s not much endometriosis, he’ll let me wait my 4 years. Alright, deal.
Next, we discuss some details of the surgery. He tells me everything he is ordering as he enters the orders and mentions “ablation”. When I hear this I get nervous. Excision, which is the cutting of endometriosis for removal, is the gold standard. This is because there is a much better opportunity for complete removal, especially when it is deep. Ablation, on the other hand, burns the surface and can leave behind deeper endometriosis. I want my endometriosis to be excised. So I ask him, “do you plan to do ablation?” He already knows where I’m going with it. He says, “ those bullshit studies” haha! He explains that if it is not very deep he’ll do ablation, if it is deep, he’ll do excision. I have actually heard of research that states this as well. I’m cool with that. He then tells me I’ll need two weeks to recover from this surgery.
We spend a full hour on the phone, during which the final minutes he shares that his wife is growing angry with him because he is working late. He answers every question I have and by the end I feel at ease and dare I say…excited for my surgery. I know this is a milestone in my healing. Two referrals are placed as a result of our discussion: a colonoscopy and a cystoscopy. I am added to his surgery waitlist. This doctor has changed the game. He’s hired!